Random thoughts

Life sometimes put things in front of us so we can face them.
I think my biggest fear is to pass through life without doing nothing expressly good or important, not for what people think, but for myself. Today I was at work and constantly thinking how desperately boring my life should be if the days were just like this.
What's wrong about the idea of doing something you really enjoy for living? Recently I discovered what kind of job would make me happy.
I don't have the illusion that all the time I'll be satisfied and pleased with the tasks of an office, for example... The thing is I'd like to feel good about what I do. See results.
Right now the only thing that slow me down is my own idea I couldn't do it. I am trying to find a way tough.

All those thoughts came with the news that I probably will have to stay a little longer in Italy. I had two opposite opinions about the subject this afternoon chatting online (in office hours, shame on me) whit a friend I have never met and whit my ex-boyfriend, one asked me if that wasn't too much time staying away from home, family and friends while the other felt happy about the opportunity I am having.
Now, which points of view should I stick with? Probably the first one was how I felt about it and the second how should I face it.
I am not comparing those different people, I am just proving myself that that person once I chose to be with me is in many ways the ideal for me.
That also makes me a little bit sad about how things ended up... Well, the point is not that. It's all done now. (Half)happily ever after.
At least me.

It can looks silly, or even stupid for some people, but I really feel something is missing. I think it's care.
I swear that some days I dream awake for a hug... A sincere and long hug. That's all it takes feel protected and supported. That's life making me understand and accept things we can't change.